In a previous article, we discussed the importance of seeking a pious spouse and how achieving this goal has become increasingly difficult. However, some positives within Muslim communities work in our favour.
Muslims still believe in the sanctity of marriage and that raising a family should involve a husband and wife, with support from the wider community. In most Muslim societies, cohabiting before marriage is uncommon and perceived as taboo, reinforcing the value of marriage.
According to a 2023 report by the Thriving Center for Psychology in the United States:
- “More than 3 in 5 (61%) unmarried couples currently live with their partners.”
- “85% do not feel marriage is necessary to have a fulfilled and committed relationship. More than 1 in 6 (17%) are not planning to get married.”
In contrast, living together unmarried can be a criminal offense in Middle Eastern countries like Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Kuwait, and Qatar. This preservation of conservative views on marriage within Muslim societies is an advantage, as it fosters a sense of responsibility and commitment.
Being in a marriage reduces the likelihood of relationship breakdowns and is better for raising children under the same roof. Research by Alissa Goodman and Ellen Greaves, titled Cohabitation, Marriage, and Relationship Stability, published by the Institute for Fiscal Studies, found that:
- Cohabiting couples are around four times more likely to experience a period of separation of at least a month by the time their child is aged 3.
- Cohabiting couples are around three times more likely to have split up by the time their child is aged 5.
Furthermore, Muslims, on average, get married earlier than non-Muslims. We also maintain strong kinship ties, often having good relationships with our parents and siblings, which contributes to a more supportive family structure.
Leadership and Stability in the Household
In Islamic households, there is a clear leadership structure. The Quran emphasizes the role of men as protectors and maintainers of their families:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means…”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:34)
This structure does not imply authoritarianism but rather a responsibility to lead with compassion, mercy, and fairness, as the Prophet Muhammad (may Allaah exalt his mention and grant him peace) advised:
“The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family.”
— Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1977
Muslim families are encouraged to maintain close ties of kinship, as this was highly emphasized in the Quran:
“And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs (kinship). Verily Allah is ever an Observer over you.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:1)
Navigating Modern Challenges
Although Muslim societies still uphold many traditional values, challenges persist, however, the effects of modernization and global exposure often present conflicts between traditional values and emerging cultural norms. However, the emphasis on the institution of marriage, the preservation of kinship ties, and adherence to the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah create a resilient framework.
Islamic societies must continue to uphold these values while addressing new challenges through Islamic education, community engagement, and maintaining close ties with our religious and community leaders.
In conclusion, while there are challenges, Muslim societies are equipped with the tools necessary to navigate these difficulties. By maintaining strong family ties, prioritizing the sanctity of marriage, and adhering to Islamic teachings, we can overcome the complexities of modern life. In shaa Allaah (Allaah willing), with steadfastness, we can build stable and successful marriages that benefit individuals and the community at large.