In the hadith, ‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar reported Allah’s Messenger as saying, “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The imam who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock; a woman is a shepherdess in charge of her husband’s house and children and she is responsible for them; and a man’s slave is a shepherd in charge of his master’s property and he is responsible for it. So each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)
وَعَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسلم: «أَلا كلُّكُمْ راعٍ وكلُّكُمْ مسؤولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالْإِمَامُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مسؤولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مسؤولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وولدِهِ وَهِي مسؤولةٌ عَنْهُمْ وَعَبْدُ الرَّجُلِ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَهُوَ مسؤولٌ عَنهُ أَلا فكلُّكُمْ راعٍ وكلكُمْ مسؤولٌ عَن رعيتِه»
While the apparent thrust of the hadith is to explain the responsibility of the individuals mentioned, it is also evidence indicating authority in Muslim society. Yes, the husband is the head of the home, but his authority is subject to that of the Qadhi (judge). This is why a big aspect of marital relationships in fiqh manuals is purely legal matters.
Taqwa doesn’t go so far, and the most pious of people can be authoritarian and abuse power. In Muslim societies, there ought to be easily accessible Shariah courts that will swiftly deal with marital issues. Even insulting one’s wife without justification is grounds for going to court.
The Maliki text on judicial issues, متن العاصمية (named تحفة الحكام), has a section on this:
فصل في إثبات الضرر و القيام به و بعث الحكمين
In judicial processes, you don’t get to cherry-pick your opinion; nobody will beg you to comply with Shariah verdicts. The Qadhi rules, and you obey or go to jail.
It is in areas, communities, or cultures where the full legal process guiding marital rights is lacking that spouses can be deprived of their rights.