The first step to getting married and starting a family is finding a good wife or husband. A pious wife is vital for raising children who fear Allaah and fulfill their duties towards you as their parent. Choosing a spouse with the right values and beliefs is a wise decision to secure both one’s worldly life (dunya) and the hereafter (aakhirah). The Quran emphasizes this importance:
{ وَأَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلۡأَیَـٰمَىٰ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِینَ مِنۡ عِبَادِكُمۡ وَإِمَاۤىِٕكُمۡۚ إِن یَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَاۤءَ یُغۡنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَ ٰسِعٌ عَلِیمࣱ }
And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allāh will enrich them from His bounty, and Allāh is all-Encompassing and Knowing.
[Surah An-Nūr: 32] Sahih international
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also highlighted the value of a good spouse, saying:
“The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.”
— Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1467
However, finding such a spouse in today’s world can be daunting. The challenges posed by modernity are evident. In earlier times, people lived in close-knit communities where everybody knew each other, and families often had a network to rely on for finding potential spouses. The rise of industrialization changed the dynamics significantly.
According to research by Campbell and Wright titled Marriage Today: Exploring the Incongruence Between Americans’ Beliefs and Practices, industrialization shifted the foundation of marriage towards love and personal fulfillment, causing concern for the stability of the institution of marriage.
Additionally, as WeChronicle.com noted in an article, industrialization led to smaller family structures, less reliance on traditional networks, and a greater emphasis on individual relationships. It states:
“Economic instability, changing gender roles, and shifting social norms all contributed to a sense of uncertainty and instability in relationships.”
Despite these changes, Islamic societies are equipped with frameworks to find spouses and maintain the sanctity of marriage. Islamic traditions prioritize community engagement through Imams, mosques, and Islamic centers. More importantly, the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) provide a comprehensive guideline on marriage, ensuring that Islamic societies are resilient to modern-day challenges.
Although we have been somewhat shielded from the isolation prevalent in other societies, challenges still exist. Many young Muslims struggle to find suitable partners, and when they do, the marriages may not always be long-lasting. The influx of ideas from Hollywood and Western ideals has skewed perceptions of marriage, contributing to unrealistic expectations.
This piece highlights the significance of marrying a pious spouse and understanding the modern challenges. In a follow-up, we will delve deeper into the nature of Islamic societies and provide practical solutions to overcome these challenges, Inshaa Allaah.